My Old Fashioned Life: Outhouses
I’ll never forget the day my dad built our second outhouse. It was a “3 holer”. In outhouse lingo this means it was considered a palace. They day daddy brought home the lumber and dug the hole, we were all so excited!
Allow me to explain.
For those of you not intimately familiar with outhouses, an outhouse is a plain wooden shed with an enclosed wooden bench inside. The bench usually has 1, sometimes 2 round holes cut out. This shed is set over a deep hole. You go in and do your business as quickly as possible and then leave. It really helps if you can do it without having to take a breath. Sadly I was never able to manage this.
Outhouse etiquette:
You can bet Emily Post never wrote about this. As unusual at it sounds, there is a strict code of outhouse etiquette. Hopefully you will never have to use this, but it’s good information to have. You can use it to impress your friends at parties.
1. Knock before opening the door.
2. It seems like it would be a really good idea to leave the door open for ventilation while you are in there doing your business. Do not do this, ever.
3. In multiple hole establishments is it only proper to have “company” if you are doing #1. (Company for #2 is allowed if it’s a small child) I’m not sure what the men do…
4. The company must be the same gender and ideally a close relation or good friend
5. If you use the outhouse at night. Do not drop the flashlight down the hole.
6. If you do drop the flashlight down the hole, do not try to retrieve it. Ever.
7. Do not take small animals or pets with you. This might seem like common sense but they can fall in. My mother had a cat fall in one time. (it was retrieved)
Our 100 year old farmstead came with the original outhouse (also a fancy 3 holer). It was old, dirty, spidery and the hole was getting pretty full. Sorry, I know that sounds gross. Plus, due to the points mentioned in rules 3 and 4 above, we needed another facility. One day Daddy brought home a load of lumber and commenced building a new out house. This was going to be one fancy outhouse! He even painted it and built a privacy screen in front of the door. (this was most likely because I consistently violated the second rule).
We were so proud of our new outhouse! When we had company and they had to use the facilities, we directed them to our new outhouse. Of course it we didn’t have a lot of company that stayed long enough to have to use the outhouse. They usually left about the time they had to go. My sisters and I loved this new outhouse because it didn’t smell quite as bad (yet) and it hadn’t been around long enough to build a good collection of creepy spiders.
A heart-felt thank you to our neighbors is in order.
Unfortunately toilet paper was not on our necessities list. Food and shelter came first. As you might have guessed, toilet paper hasn’t always been around. People have lived for generations without it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not signing on to give up toilet tissue anytime soon, but I’m saying we managed pretty well without it.
One of our neighbors was a real estate agent. Back in the days before house shopping was done on the Internet, you had Sears Catalogue sized MLS books filled with pictures and descriptions of houses printed on tissue thin paper. Our neighbor brought all the outdated MLS books to us and we used the in the outhouse. There was a certain technique to this. You must tear off a couple of sheets and wad them up into a tiny ball over and over. After 4 or 5 times, it feels just like Scott brand toilet paper. This is probably the reason I could never manage to do my business without taking a breath.
Nevertheless, it was a real treat when we got to use toilet paper. I remember the first time I went to school. Every stall had its own roll! I just could not believe it!
Is there anything else you would like to know about outhouses? Or, anything about my growing up years? Please email me or leave a comment. Remember, I’m on vacation at my in-laws and do not have internet access. I will respond to your questions on Tuesday.
This story is so funny. Fortunately I never had to use an outhouse on a permanent basis. Thats the one thing I really like and appreciate, my indoor toilet. Hope you have a great vacation and keep the Old Fashioned Life stories coming I really enjoy them.
I am a long time reader, but I don't think I've ever commented. This post made me smile, because it made me think about the days I spent with my Grandmother and my Great Aunt. They both had outhouses, and my Great Aunt even had one of the crank pumps to pump water into her kitchen sink. I love those days and love thinking about them, because they were happy. I do remember having toilet paper in the outhouse thouh:-)
Enjoyed this article very much! I'm 56 years old and I remember very well using my grandparents outhouse durning the summer days and the chamber pot at night. To a young child who grew up in the city this was SO exciting! My grandparents lived on a farm with no indoor nothing. We pumped the water at the kitchen sink and all drunk out of the same dipper hanging on the wall by a nail. It was all like a fairy tell to me and I loved every moment!
Thank you, nanniereese
Wow! This is an eyeopener for me. While my parents were poor growing up, they grew up in NYC, so no outhouses. And by the time I grew up in the 1970's they had a fair amount of money. We lived in suburban Philadelphia, so I never knew anyone who had an outhouse. In fact, I didn't know that people still did!
This was actually a very interesting post - although the rules made me laugh a little. I'm fairly certain that I am most grateful for the flushing toilets (with toilet paper). I'm not sure I could have managed an outhouse and ESPECIALLY if I had to share LOL
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